Or are you interested in only what they can give to you in the form of payment or a recommendation?
First of all, am I not pointing my finger at only you; because I know that if I point one finger at you there are three pointing back at me.
This whole blog and the focus on interest in others was assembled due to a situation that happened not that long ago. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I thrive on being in the company of others. By that I mean that I get my energy from others. In fact if I am ever tired all that I have to do is go to a meeting or a social event and I am ready and energized for just about anything.
The funniest thing about how my energy level increases is that as I become more gregarious or expressive and many view me in a different way. They view me as the 50’s or 60’s sales person that is only in their presence to make a quick dollar. Sadly for me, this is not my intention.
So why did I tell you this personal story?
It is to make you aware of how you can be viewed due to your actions.
With this knowledge, how can you show others you are genuinely interested in them?
Is it a fear that you will fail at something that really doesn’t matter?
The idea for this blog came from quote that I read recently by Francis Chan. The quote is; “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
After I read this quote I thought about the many times in my life that I strived so very hard to achieve something that really didn’t matter. For example achieving a sales goal or winning a City Council seat when I lived in Western Canada. Yes, those were good for the ego, but other than that not much.
So my concluding questions for you are;
- When you make a decision to go for a goal, have you deeply thought about whether achieving this goal really matters in the big perspective?
- What is one thing in your life that really matters?
- What can you do to succeed at this?
Is this helpful or a problem?
The reason for this blog is that at times in the world of business you come across someone who will not share information with those who need to know. Yes, if this information had been shared a particular project would have come to completion in a much better way.
Sadly the only reason why people do this is because of some sort of a character flaw. Whether it is a control issue, or they don’t trust the people they work with; it just leads to long-term problems in the organization.
So what can a person do?
- Admit that you have an issue.
- Try breaking this instinctive resistance to share.
- Ask others for their opinion on how you can improve your work ethic.
Can you now see that by correcting this habit it can help you be a better person who contributes more to your organizations growth?
Have you thought about what you are capable of?
Our capabilities are a very unique topic of thought. I type that because either we limit the beliefs in what we are capable of or we exaggerate what we can do. The exaggerating of what we can do can cause irreparable harm to ourselves. I point that out because of what I’ve seen with some people. They have gone to see and hear a motivational speaker and the speaker has told them and they are convinced of it that they can do anything that they can think of. Of course that is absolutely false!
Why would I say that?
It is because a lot of the times we as human beings do not look at our dreams with a clear lens at times. You may be asking what I mean by that. It is because after many motivational events the speaker has said things that have convinced some people that they should do things that they have not got the skill set to even consider this move. So for a number of months or years they will struggle to do what they have been motivated to do only to become frustrated and upset.
What is the solution?
I believe it comes down to a few things;
- Understand the skill set that you’ve been blessed with (the gifts, talents and abilities).
- Reach for the stars in what you’d like to accomplish (look at where you are now and decide which role in the long-term you believe you can move toward by improving your skills).
- Set medium and short term goals (while thinking of where you want to end up).
- Evaluate your progress on a minimum of one time each month.
Doesn’t this make more sense?
Have you felt that this has been good for you?
I hope you said ‘yes’ as when we are challenged we tend to go a little deeper in our potential skills and abilities.
What do I mean by that?
I believe that when we operate on an automatic level we are just going through the motions. By that I mean we go into an auto-pilot mode. We are doing what we enjoy and are very good at it. But that doesn’t mean that we are getting any better at what we are we good at, does it?
That is why I know that being challenged to come up with a solution to a problem helps us build our character, resilience and ingenuity.
Isn’t that something you want more in your life?
So, when are you going to challenge yourself?
Would today be a good day?
Is there a way of measuring the decline if there is one?
Recently I watched a great documentary called Decadence: The Decline of the Western World. The documentary explored the changes in western society from the rise of pornography to the unstoppable growth of commercialism.
It went on to say that western society peaked in the late 1960’s. I am not going to give you my opinion of the documentary, but what I will do is ask a few questions to conclude;
- Do you buy things, just for the shake of buying them?
- Do you view people as objects or rather as human beings that have more to offer?
- What have you done in the past year to improve your part of the world?
Depending on how you answered those questions, will tell you if are part of the decline or part of the improvement of our society, won’t it?
Is it true that if a person is a celebrity that it makes them an authority on something?
I type this blog because of viewing a variety of headlines that espoused what successful people did and why we all need to do what they did. For example the latest one was about what successful people drink. After smiling I started to think about all the ideas that have been introduced by famous companies or people that have been an absolute waste of time or money. Let me give you a few examples;
- Diets with ‘miracle’ foods or ingredients
- Special exercise equipment or regimes
- Hewlett-Packard’s TouchPad
The key in all of these ideas that the famous promote is to remember;
- Don’t buy-in to all the hype
- Remember that any long-term results take time
- Stick with what works for you
The key question to ask is; how much did the celebrity get paid for the promotion?
Whether it is in an office or in a family, trouble makers bring down the spirit of everyone, don’t they?
Yes, they will take part of an issue and try to make it a problem. They do this usually by only understanding a small part of the issue then start the rumor mill through gossip. We all must remember that their talk is never about making things right, it is only to feed their inner joy to cause problems.
So how do you handle these trouble makers?
My suggestion is very simple. If someone comes to you with an issue that doesn’t involve them, ask these questions;
- Why is it important that you bring this up?
- How does bringing this issue up help you?
- Tell me, why didn’t the person involved in the issue come and tell me?
- Could you have made more of this than it really is?
Will you follow this plan the next time a trouble maker starts to bring up something that did not involve them?
Would you like to make a big improvement that will change your life for the better?
Most people think that in order to make a big improvement it takes a big change in their life. I am not sure that big changes are the way to make a great improvement. I type that because every journey is started with one step. And after that one step, you make another one and another one and before you know it you have created momentum that keeps you making those steps.
So how do you take that first step?
I believe that you have to make an honest examination of what has been going on in your life. No, I am not saying that you have to spend 8 hours examining your life. A great start would be to ask your self these questions;
- What is my poorest habit?
- What can I do to improve?
- What good habit can I use replace the poor habit with?
This is the first step in your journey.
Once you’ve made this good habit a common occurrence, ask the above questions again. This will be your second step. Then by continuing the process you will be moving yourself to an optimistically improved journey of life.
Doesn’t this make sense?
How careful are you with your words in describing a situation?
I write this blog because of what I’ve recently read in a report about an actress and the what she experienced during the filming of a new movie. Her husband stated that he “was devastated after she would come home with real bruises on her body”.
My first question is; what kind of a life do people like this live in? Do they think that life is all fairy tale or make-believe? Secondly, what is going to happen to you if you if your wife/actress really gets hurt?
You see the verb devastate means to demolish or destroy. So another question; was he destroyed when he saw the bruises on this wife’s body? I know that is not true, it is just over-the-top words that cause people to buy in to what a person says and to make them look significant.
Would it have been better to use a phrase like; “I felt the greatest of compassion when I saw the bruises on my wife’s body after she had completed the filming of the movie.”
Why is this important?
Because if we don’t use the proper words they can have a massive impact on the way we live our lives.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to be more careful in how you select your words in describing a situation?