Are We Creating Softies or A Resilient Generation?

As a father of 2 adult children, I was always concerned about how they would grow up and contribute to the world.

Recently our family got together for a weekend, and we had a very enjoyable time (for the most part, as all families experience). Now that my older daughter has a teenage daughter those same concerns are still on my mind.

Yes, I want anyone in my family to be safe, but I don’t want them to be soft. I state that because we live in a world that can eat people up if they are not resilient to the actions of others.

The challenge is that I’ve seen some pretty scary or terrifying ideas and actions that I believe are hand-cuffing our young people today. And what I mean by hand-cuffing is that the young softies will not be able to have their mommy or daddy protect them all of their lives. And there are big ramifications that will occur later in their lives.

From my research I know that many people in the education of new medical student’s state that many of the students lack resilience and self-sufficiency. Due to this, my question is; ‘How are they going to survive in that occupation?’

While this research focused on the medical profession, I know for a fact that this lack resilience and self-sufficiency is going to affect all of the softies.

The concern then becomes two questions;

• How do we develop quality people from birth until maturity?
• How do we equip these young people with skills, knowledge and an inner personal fortitude or strength?

While these questions are difficult to answer I believe the best way to make some improvement is to look at and analyze the actions of parents at present.

Consider the following examples;

1. Saying yes to every request – Indeed, many parents do not deny their children anything. What kind of a message does that give to them? How will it serve them later on in their lives? Sure, if you say yes, every once in a while, to some fun stuff, that’s wonderful, but saying yes, every time, sets you up for looking like an easy target.
2. Always extending the limits you’ve set – A question; ‘Why would you set limits if you are always going to change them?’
3. A total lack of actual limits – Are you following the modern approach to parenting, where your kids are more independent and get to establish their own limits on everything? How will that translate to the workplace?
4. Overspending on the child – When your kids are demanding brand-name clothing, or shoes, or accessories and you just take the credit card out to make it happen, what are you teaching them about money?
5. Being so afraid to toughen them up for the world – Being over-protective does not help a child grow into the person they were meant to be, does it? If your child has done something wrong, don’t let them off the hook, they need to accept responsibility for their actions, both now and into the future. This does not mean beating them. It means getting them to understand there are consequences to everything. Train them now!

Parents and grandparents need to understand that if you are doing any of the 5 examples, it appears to me that you are doing all you can to create fear and helplessness in the next generation. By being needy and weak they will become less that they could have been.

Is that the type of children you want in the world?

Is this the type of future you want for your children?