Are you cheating yourself from the good life?

I believe that you’d agree that at times we deceive others in order to make ourselves look better than we are, wouldn’t you?

I doubt that you’d agree that we deceive ourselves in order to make ourselves look smarter, believe that we are better or think that no one can teach us anything.

But we do that, don’t we?

This blog is all about self-deception and how we are taking away from ourselves wonderful learning experiences.

Recently there was a study conducted by Professor Sarah Dommer of Penn State University about how people cheat even when there is no reward beyond self-satisfaction. What she uncovered is that we humans sometimes fool themselves in ways that are not noticed even by their own subconscious minds. The research findings are available online in the Journal of the Association for Consumer Research.

With four unique experiments the researchers found that people will cheat for money, but also how they feel about themselves. This goes as far as making themselves feel smarter or more capable, when they aren’t. Yes, their talent isn’t there but they have deceived themselves into believing that. And you know what happens with that in business, don’t you?

Well, if you are unsure let me give you some examples;

• Lack of Accountability – their self-deception leads them to blame others, make excuses or deny they do anything wrong.
• Inauthentic Communication – they give others misleading information, or avoid challenging conversations to protect their self-image.
• Resistance to Feedback – they will dismiss constructive criticism, surround themselves with ‘yes boss’ people and especially resist points of view that are contrary to their thoughts.
• Erosion of Trust – when their words are not congruent or consistent with their actions. Which you know destroys an organizations culture and team morale.
• Blind Spots – either ignoring or being unaware of their own shortcomings, biases or the impact of how their actions affect others.
• Inconsistent Decision-Making – which follows unreliable or contradictory decisions which ties into their biases, and often leads to misunderstanding, frustration and lack or no confidence in their staff of them.

So, what do you do to avoid the impact of your self-deception?

I would suggest the following to start;

1. Do some self-reflection. Examine your values, behavior and motivations. This can help uncover blind spots and gain a deeper more thorough understanding of how your values, behavior and motivations impact on others.
2. Open your heart to understanding how you receive feedback. It is only when you learn to view feedback as a valuable tool for growth that you begin to achieve personal and professional development.
3. Look deeper at your communication and decide if it is truly authentic. When you are guided by transparency, and being able to express vulnerability that you open dialogue with those that matter.

There are more ways to overcome self-deception, and this is a start.

And a final question, when will you begin the process of helping yourself improve?

If you are not a self-starter, don’t hesitate to contact me, if you’d like some assistance. My number is 519-539-2267.