Have you ever heard someone say; ‘don’t judge’?

Do you realize that this is a blanket statement?

Are you asking, what is a blanket statement? According to what I’ve read; a blanket statement is a generalization. It is a statement that is meant to cover everything, just like a blanket.

The challenge is that when using a “blanket statement” it may be an over-generalization. With the statement ‘don’t judge’ it is an obvious overgeneralization. Let me tell you why.

Picture yourself laying in bed and your alarm goes off. You can either decide to get out of bed or decide to hit the ‘snooze button’. Isn’t it interesting that I used the word decide two times in the last statement? Yes, as human beings we have the ability to decide or make decisions. In other words, we have to make judgement calls on whether to do something or not.

Some of you may be saying but that is not what the ‘don’t judge’ is all about. I understand what you are getting at, and yet at the same time I understand human beings and the way we were made psychologically. For your information, animals do not decide, they only act on instinct. In other words, they go with the flow. That is whatever happens, happens; they just go with it. This is very different than us human beings, isn’t it?

Let me give you an example. Let’s say you have a 4-year-old child, and this child follows his or her own path. Said another way, they have a wild imagination and what they like to do this very different that what you as a parent would like done. So, one afternoon your son or daughter decide that they want to walk to the corner store by themselves to buy some candy. As they are shutting the door the child yells that they will be home in a while after the visit to the corner store.

So, what do you do as a parent? You love this child deeply and you are concerned about him or her crossing 4 intersections. Do you think you will just go with the flow? In other words, whatever happens, happens. Of course, not! You’ve made a judgement call and have decided that it would not be good for the well-being of your child that they go to the corner store by themselves. What you do, is follow them just far enough away so that they don’t see you, but you are ever more aware of traffic, people and events as you follow your child.

The interesting thing for me is that I don’t believe it is any different with adults. This is because if you care or love for someone you don’t want them putting their life in danger. And if you are concerned about their actions – you are judging their actions in relation to how you view the world and your own priorities. Yes, they are your priorities but to ignore how you feel about the actions of a person you care for or love is not loving or caring for them. Remember the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. Of course, if you love or care for that person you are not going to be rude to them in your speech, you will speak with care and compassion in your voice.

To conclude I have a question for you; do you want to go through life loving others or would you like to show indifference or coldness to everyone by not using the human ability to judge?