What impulses are tying you down?

We all have impulses, and many of these impulses can become compulsions and addictions, don’t they?

Wouldn’t it be great to become a master of your impulses?

Whether your impulse is to eat, to shop, to drink, take drugs or to procrastinate all of these impulses can have a massive impact on our lives. If it is eating, what about the extra weight you are carrying around with you? If it is shopping, are all your purchases needed or are they just wants? If it is drinking or drugs, how much is this costing you or your family both financially and emotionally? If it is procrastination, what have you missed out on that would have served both you and those around you if you had taken action.

I believe that you will agree that impulses and our lack of control over them can have some very serious impacts on our lives.

The question remains, how can you overcome these impulses?

I know that the first thing you have to do is acknowledge what is tying you down. You need to ask yourself the following questions;

• What is my compulsion or addiction?
• How is this getting out of control?
• What part do I play in this?
• Can I be part of the solution?

This is a necessary step, and by answering the above questions it can accelerate the process of improvement in your life. Next you ask yourself these questions;

• Am I willing and ready to change and improve my life?
• Why is this the right time to improve my life?
• What must I do to initiate this improvement?

Creating enough compelling or convincing reasons to make the improvement in your life is essential. This is because by doing that you give yourself enough reasons to follow-through on why you think it is necessary to improve.

Secondly, you need to take responsibility. This is because you need to stop blaming others, making excuses or denying you are part of the problem. You need to consider how your impulses, compulsions or addictions have impacted the other people in your life. I have seen that offering your apology to those affected was a fabulous step.

Step three involves asking yourself questions so you take a deeper look at yourself. You need to ask yourself questions about your beliefs, fears, behaviors and what you want to have happen, that is your objective. Ask questions like;

• How am I to blame for this situation I am in?
• What triggers my impulses, compulsions or addictions?
• How could I eliminate these temptations?
• What do I believe about myself when I am taking action on my impulses, compulsions or addictions?
• How can I handle this impulses, compulsions or addictions successfully?
• What do I need to do on a daily basis?
• What fears do I need to overcome?
• What is my ultimate objective?

By answering these questions, you will gain significant insights into what you can do and how you can overcome your impulses.

The fourth step is to create a new behavior. If you’ve taken the steps outlined so far you are at a point to realize that your impulses are nothing more than long-term habits. You are also beginning to understand that to eliminate this impulse you need to replace it with something else, something that can help you write the finest chapter in your life. To create a new behavior, ask yourself these questions;

• What will replace the need the impulse gives me?
• How can I get what I need in another way than what this impulse used to give me?
• What new and inspiring habit will help me more than satisfy my essential or core needs?

This is not an easy process! Reorganizing your belief system is not clear-cut or straightforward. This is going to take attentive work and effort, but just consider the final results.

The fifth step is to review the results. Do you think you are going to be perfect on your first effort? I hope you are but remember what you are doing is not going to be easy, so be patient with your results if your results are not perfect. To get leverage or influence on yourself ask the following;

• How will not overcoming this impulse hurt me and those around me?
• What are the things that will hold me back from achieving this?
• What will it cost me financially, physically, emotionally, socially or spiritually?
• What regrets will I have for not following through on my objective?
• What benefits will I gain for following through on my objective?

The last two questions are essential for moving forward on your objective of becoming a master of your impulses. You will make major progress by using those two questions every day.

The final or sixth step is to remember that Rome was not built in a day or a week or a month. With that in mind, take small steps and move toward your objective. By taking small steps you will condition your new behavior until it becomes a habit.

It is so important for you to understand that you are human and you may have days when things don’t go perfectly – but don’t get upset with this. It only proves you are human. And it also proves that you are aware that you had a day when you could have been better and due to that realization, you’re a better person than you were at the beginning of this process. So, congratulations, you are on the way to a better life.

If you have any questions on this 6-Step process please feel free to contact me at 519-539-2267 or tim@theresiliencedoctor.com