Are You Stuck in a Story That Is Not Helping You?

Did you know that there are hidden psychological forces that shape your identity, happiness and future?

Step back for a moment and listen to your inner thoughts. Listen to the relentless remarks running in the background of your mind.

Are you hearing questions like;

• Why does that always happen to me?
• How could I be so unskilled and thoughtless?
• How come I am so far behind?
• Is there any point in trying?

As humans, we like to think of ourselves as being very rational who occasionally tell stories about ourselves. What psychology has uncovered is that, we are storytellers who rarely reason. We constantly tell stories about our reality. We are so busy selecting facts, interpreting, explaining, judging, and predicting to make us look good. We have a tendency to slant our stories about the world, and what we are doing. And if you really looked closely, you will realize that they are anything but reality.

Stories help us make sense of our own existence. At times they impose order on chaos. In our inner narratives, we highlight certain moments, and quietly edit or rewrite out others.

Without these stories our lives would feel meaningless. But as you know not all stories are helpful. In fact, some can trap us in harmful patterns.

As you might have gleaned, the most powerful story you will ever tell is your self-story. It determines not just your present but also your future well-being. Each one of us takes a complex inner description of explaining who we are, how and why we became this way, and what is possible for us in the future. These are based on a carefully curated selection of memories and interpretations. Our self-story creates and provides our existence with meaning.

But our self-stories also influence how we translate the past, how we foresee the future, and how driven we feel. Which leads to how satisfied we are with our lives.

Unfortunately, non-constructive self-stories become like negative dreams. They enter into our emotional lives, form our actions, and twist our relationships. Gradually, they become a chief source of psychological suffering.

If you repeatedly tell yourself that you are helpless, or certain to fail, your nervous system listens and accepts what you are thinking. Then your motivation weakens. You quit attempting to model your life. It is not because you can’t, but because the story you are telling yourself says you there’s no point in attempting to.

In this way, self-stories are reality-shaping. They feel like the truth about ourselves; then we act as if they are true.

If your core story is a put-down of yourself, your attention will automatically focus in on setbacks. And even sadder is that you begin to dismiss any evidence of competence on your part.

Please keep these points in mind, because is because this is all about your future.

If you would like to overcome these harsh stories, please contact me at 519-539-2267 or email me at tim@theresiliencedoctor.com