Has the Gabby Petito situation got your attention?

A question to begin; Who are you willing to sacrifice for, in your life?

I bring this question up because recently I was part of an on-line class and one of the participants stated that in order to be selfless, a person has to agree to sacrifice.

The reason why I bring this up is due to how many times I’ve seen what I considered good relationships or marriages seem to fall apart ‘over-night’. In the past I’ve had the opportunity to interview people who have experienced this very difficult situation from an outsider’s view. These were people very close to the couple and in my interviews, I found out that the reason for the break-up was typically one person wanting to get their own way all the time. In fact, it got so bad at times that violence was shown in order to get their way. As you can tell I am trying to avoid stating a gender. But I can tell you that selfish attitudes run in both male and females. So, what causes selfish attitudes?

I believe that selfish people really can’t comprehend or grasp that they are being selfish. They just believe that they are lovely people who just care about their own happiness more than anything else.

I’ve been working with a lady whose husband died after 50 years of marriage. Recently she told me that she felt very bad that her husband could not stay the last days of his life with her in their home. She said that she was doing all she could for him, but was not getting any sleep and finally the medical authorities said that he had to be moved to a palliative care home for his final days. She still feels bad over a year later, but as I told her she had done more than many people, so she need not be so hard on herself. Her actions show that she was not selfish but selfless and was willing to make many sacrifices.

While I can’t prevent a selfish person from taking advantage of you. It is my hope that I can share some of what I call early signs or attitudes of the selfish, I do this so you are more aware of who you are with. Here are a few;

• Selfish people are amazing manipulators. If you find yourself always being controlled to do what the selfish person wants all the time – you know who you are with. Yes, they are uncaring about you and your needs.
• They will plot and scheme against you. For example, if you’d like to have a relationship with a person who has opinions, they will do everything they can to destroy your relationship with the person you want to be close to.
• While it is obvious by what I’ve typed already a selfish person is very narcissistic. In other words, they put themselves first. Your needs are not worth their time.
• When having the opportunity to talk to a selfish person you will find that they have difficulty sharing their deepest personal challenges or giving assistance to those in need.
• Because many selfish people are narcissistic, they don’t like to be corrected. As narcissists they believe that they are unique and can only be understood by very special people, like those with a higher status.

Isn’t it time to be more aware so that situations like the Gabby Petito incident does not happen anymore?