Have You Noticed That We Act Immaturely at Times?

And yes, I am including all of us in that question?

I guess this blog could almost be called a group examination of conscience. I state that because if we truly examine our conscience, we might see how we are always trying to ignore our problems, thus we don’t take action to improve our actions or our beliefs.

Let me give you a few examples;

• When we automatically deny, we are really saying that we don’t accept the reality or the facts of a situation.
• Have you noticed that when you project, you are blaming others for your own thoughts or feelings?
• Have you ever split a person? A funny question, but what I am speaking about is how we at times see people as all good or all bad. Deep down, you know that others have their good qualities too, don’t you?
• Are you acting out? By that I mean, are you expressing your emotions with impulsive acts? For example, abruptly changing or canceling plans, an inability to remain calm, or binge eating or drinking.
• What about the regression factor? Have you gone back to childhood behavior when stressed?

Yes, I am sure that you’d agree that all of those examples are very immature or juvenile. But what do you do when you exhibit behaviors of immaturity as an adult?

Here is a step-by-step approach to managing and growing past these moments:

1. Practice Pondering: When you notice an immature reaction (e.g., pouting, deflecting fault, or using the silent treatment), pause and ask yourself, ‘What unmet need or trigger caused this?’ (Remember this is the act of thinking deeply, carefully, and often slowly about something, especially when weighing options, evaluating consequences, or trying.)
2. Take Responsibility: You need to own your actions without making excuses. Admit the impact of your behavior on others and give a sincere apology. (As a reminder, responsibility is the state or action of being accountable for your decisions, duties, and obligations.)
3. Control Your Emotions: Give yourself a “breather” if you feel beaten down. Step away from the people, place, or situation until you are calm enough to respond rationally. (I believe that this type of control is the only one to make sense.)
4. Communicate Emphatically: That means to express your feelings using “I am…” statements rather than resorting to passive-aggression, sarcasm, or yelling. (Remember this means stepping into the other person’s shoes to understand their feelings before responding. It is shifting the goal from fixing others to connecting with them by practicing effective listening, supporting their emotional experience, and remaining genuinely curious about their viewpoint.)

If you are not able to get this under control, search for professional support to help uncover deeper patterns of behavior and learn personalized coping strategies.

If you feel the need, contact Tim Gibney at 519-539-2267.