How does annoying situations affect you?

Did you want to criticize the person who you believe was the main contributor?

I ask these questions because I am concerned that people (at times) are looking at the wrong person in our relationships with others.

Let me give you an example. You’ve known someone for many years, but over the past number of years you’ve noticed that this kind person has become very aggressive even to the point where they appear to need to control every situation. At first you put up with it, then you start to be perturbed by their actions and their comments. Then you step back and look at the people that they are spending a lot of time with, you notice that these people are letting this once kind hearted person do anything around them. It almost appears that they are afraid of saying something. By looking at that background can you see that this person has become so ‘bossy’ with these gentle and caring people that he/she thinks that he or she can do whatever they want, whenever they want.

What you’ve learned is that the aggressive or controlling person has started to enjoy what he or she now considers her role in life. Sadly, what this points out is that this aggressive person is not using a virtue called awareness. He or she are stuck in a rut and are really enjoying this controlling way of living. As was said many years ago, the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Sadly, this controlling person is burying him or herself in this identity, and is not growing as an individual. In a way you should feel sad for this person. A writer by the name of Matthew Kelly once wrote; “You isolate yourself from people who challenge you to change and grow and surround yourself with people who demand so little of you. It is no wonder your progress is little if any.”

So, what does a person do in those situations?

It is my opinion, that you need to first step away from the relationship with the controlling or aggressive person. I would call this a self-imposed ‘time-out’. It is a time for just stepping away from the situation, so you can enjoy your life to the fullest.

Secondly, I would point out to the people that are condoning the poor behavior that they are not helping the person. By their actions they have slowly convinced the ‘bossy person’ that they can do anything they want to do, no matter how it affects others.

Does this make sense?

Is there a situation, where you might use some of these ideas?