Do you feel it is not your responsibility to make yourself happy?

Are you sure that is the right way to look at life?

Recently I attended a workshop and the workshop leader asked all of us if our spouse was in our lives to make us happy. Then he asked if any of us thought that our children were in our lives to make us happy. Then he stated that those who think others are in their lives to make them happy are neurotic. So what is a neurotic?

According to an on-line dictionary the informal meaning of a neurotic is a person prone to excessive anxiety and emotional upset. In other words there is a big possibility of the neurotic to blame others for their situation in life.

How tragic that anyone would blame others for their state in life. While I’ve been told that neurosis is caused by the same issues that cause anxiety, I’ve also learned that neurosis stems from a combination of experiences, chemical imbalances and genetics.

A solution to this is beyond any of the work I do but I believe that it is important for me to offer some help those that are affected by this situation.

I know that part of the solution comes from using some of the same traits like those people that I’ve interviewed over the past 20 plus years. These people include prisoners of war, those abused and people with debilitating illnesses. What they taught me was not just how to survive but how to thrive in a very complex and challenging world. So what is the first step all of them took? They figured out what was most important to them.

So the first step is figuring out what is important to you. If the situation you are in is not how you wanted your life to be – you need to change your situation. By that I mean you need to remove yourself from the situation. While it may be the hardest thing to do, it is the proper thing to do for your long-term happiness and safety.

Doesn’t this make sense?